So, while going through this introspective time, I decided to look through my portfolio. As a designer, the portfolio is what marks success. And while I feel that my portfolio is filled with things that are impressive for their circumstance, feeling awesome isn’t enough. What it really boils down to is payroll and self-satisfaction. It I wanted to just walk around patting myself on the back for doing the work that I like, I should’ve been an artist. As it stands, what I do is branding, advertising and design… Basically, I push other peoples’ and organizations’ messages. From the couch I hear imaginary Robert Smith almost sigh the words: “And you could do a better job”, as ‘Lullaby’ plays on. Thanks Mr. Smith.

What do I do about that? I suppose I can do better work… I suppose I could spend more time working through the message and focus of the client. I suppose that I could encourage a client to spend more time thinking about what it is they are trying to accomplish as well.

Sometimes you have to take your eyes off what you think is the goal for a moment. You have to make sure that the path you have been taking is actually heading in the direction you want to go. You have to look back, even if for a moment. It’s the only way to recognize and understand that there have been failures. Once you do that, you’ve got the choice to keep going your route or change it a bit.

After deleting a few spam emails, checking up on GoogleNews, and viewing the forecast, I grab one more half-cup of coffee and sink down in front of the gigantic speakers wrapping up “The 13th” off of the ‘Wild Mood Swings’ album, I contemplate what I’ve done to reach here… Sometimes, feeling awesome just isn’t enough. “‘Sometimes’?!”, imaginary-Robert Smith mutters from across the way. I briefly think that I could take him in a fight, and decide that I’ll not fight with the imaginary King of Sullen-ness. It’s just not a good idea on a few levels. First of all, he’s not really here. Secondly, if he was really here, the heavy atmosphere of his tortured soul could crush the hearts of mere mortals with but a single note.

So I’ll revisit the past a bit more and reevaluate the path I’m on. I’ll take my eyes off the goal for a moment to make sure that the path has been the right one. And I’ll double my efforts to get to where I’m supposed to be… But first I’ll spend sometime in a silence that says so much with the imaginary-Robert Smith as I finish off this coffee.

That said, stay tuned. I’m sure I’ll be gearing up something great in the next few days or so. Keep your ear… erm… eyes… open for a new post.

Please be patient as there is still a lot of work to be done here. A lot. But, to all of you who visited regularly: “Welcome back!” And to those who are first timers, I hope you stick around for a bit. It’s always interesting around here.